tenminutes | AFTERLIVING ONLY: IC INBOX

Yeah, I know, it's a weird name. Let's just say my old man has a very astute naming sense and leave it at that.

Anyway, I was wondering something. If this really is the afterlife, is there someone in charge of it?

It's really the afterlife, if you don't believe me try jumping off a rooftop. Someone in charge of it.. well, that's a tough call. It depends on how "in charge" you want to get. There's another man who acts as a programmer but he's definitely not a good guy-- he can manipulate the NPCs and tell them to completely wipe everyone's memories and make us like them if we aren't careful. Then there's Naoi, who's in charge of the student council. And me, of course, the leader of the Shinda Sekai Sensen, afterlife battlefront. The closest thing to "overall leader" you're going to get is God, but I've been trying to find my way to him for years without success.

Yeah, people keep suggesting I should try jumping and see what happens, but the thing is, I'd just come right back. I could already do that before I got here. Hell, I used to have a guy knock my head off just to prove a point, back in the day.

God, huh? Figured it'd come to that. He sounds like what I'm looking for, though. I don't exactly have years to waste looking for him, but it's not like I've got any other leads. Guess I'd better start looking.

Now you've got me more curious, though. What's this afterlife battlefront business?

Oh. Then try pushing someone else off of a building, they'll do the same even if they're regular humans. Are you some kind of mutant?

If that's the case though, you might consider joining the SSS. The SSS is an organization that was formerly committed to rebelling against God, presently focusing on taking down the programmer. Of course, finding God might be in our best interest again considering the only real solutions to taking care of the programmer right now so I think it'd be a good goal.

Yeah, I noticed, some girl went and stabbed herself with an arrow. Quite a sight that was. Anyway, no, not exactly. I'm a homunculus.

Huh, interesting. I can't say that doesn't sound like a good deal. But. You said you were the leader, right? I'm not really the kind of guy to follow orders.

[ There's a long pause over the phone as she's trying to think what a homunculus is and she's getting the oddest image since... technically a homunculus is a little tiny dwarf that an alchemist made in a flask... ]

How are you holding a phone, isn't it kind of big for you?

[Wow, how silly, what kind of homunculus would that even be? Haha... ha... ha...]

Huh? No, look, it just means... I'm an artificial human, basically. So I'm not technically human, but I still look like one.

So you're not a little dwarf thing?

Uh, no. Just what the hell are you even imagining there?

A freaky tiny dwarf thing with giant hands.

[...okay, that does get a brief chuckle out of him.]

Well, I do know a guy who sorta fits that description, though he's not so much tiny as short. But sorry to disappoint, I look completely human.

Too bad, if you were an alien I could put a bow on you and all my Christmas gift problems would be solved with Haruhi.

[ She's joking.

Probably. ]

What, just your regular old artificial human not good enough for your friend? I'm hurt!

You're questionable enough, if she is my friend I wouldn't send someone questionable unless they were an alien!

Questionable, me? Now what would make you say something like that?

[Not that he's disagreeing or anything.]

You're not an NPC but you're an artificial human. Of course you're questionable.

Heh. I've been called worse things, so I'm fine with questionable.

...so this SSS deal. You're in charge, you said. So if I join, does that mean I'd always have to answer to you?

I try to listen to people and make sure that no one's completely dissatisfied, but when it comes down to it the plan that I choose is the one we follow. I'm not going to shut down every idea that comes my way though, unless they're completely stupid.

I'm fine with following plans if I have to, as long as they're good plans. But outside of that. What are you expecting from people, that they do what you say or are you fine with people doing what they want?

People can do what they want for the most part, so long as they're there for missions and they have the backs of everyone else in the SSS. I'm not going to tell you that you can't run for student council or join the baseball team if you want to do that. The only rules that you have to follow are that you can't pressure anyone into telling you about their past, we protect each other, you have to show up for dinner, and you participate in missions that fit your skill set when you're asked.

[He doesn't really want to join. At all. He's not a... 'joiner' in general. Leading something, that's different. But the last time he followed anyone, well... that had been a few centuries ago and he sure as hell hadn't enjoyed that. And if he were back in Amestris, where he knew the country, where he had his Shield, where he knew what he was doing? He'd say no.

But they weren't in Amestris, now were they...]

...guess that's not that bad of a deal, all things considered. So what the hell, why not. I'll join.

That is... assuming you don't mind someone as questionable as me in your ranks.

Sougo's more questionable than you any day. You just have to tell me what you're good at and what you enjoy doing so that I know what to do with you, alright? I'm not going to send you off to get shot at if you're no good at fighting just like I'm not going to put you in the distraction team or the strategy team, a construction team like Guild used to be, or anything of the other categories I've got if you're not good at something that fits the job.

Oh, I can handle fighting, trust me. I'm not as good as I normally am right now, I, ah... I'm missing one of my usual tricks. But that's just a small setback. Whoever made this place take people's powers away is an asshole, by the way.

I doubt it does it on purpose. Dying takes a lot out of you. From what I can tell, others who've lost theirs seem to have gained it back little by little.

Hardly the first time I died, don't see why this time it's gotta be such a big deal. Ah well, if people have gotten theirs back before, I guess that's promising enough for now.

AFTERLIVING ONLY: IC INBOX

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