For one thing, try leaving out the putting anyone in their proper place. Anger's good to inspire people, but if they've got something that unites them besides hatred that's a lot more important. Something that everyone can share that binds them together and makes them care about each other. Peace and harmony are just words if you don't have something you want to fight to get those for. What unites people is a lot more powerful than what they're united for.

Oh, and don't tell people that it's their cage and they should break it, it sounds like you're blaming them for their own misery and that's a way to drive people away from you.