RL with Steve

[tenminutes]

[ Sometimes there are difficult situations and you just need a friend. Unfortunately, Yuri rarely actually went to her friends when she had difficult situations, but this wasn't something she knew the answer to and she did have a friend who was pretty well versed in stupid time shenanigans. Maybe it wasn't the same situation (or rather, it definitely wasn't) but this wasn't something that she wanted to share with anyone else.

She didn't even know if she wanted to share it with Steve, but she was going to try. You know, by popping on over there with a fake request to go mini-golfing. ]

Comments

[doyoufondue]

[ Okay gets his wallet and keys. La la leaving the apartment ]

We can just go in a toy store for this thing, right?

[tenminutes]

I was thinking more a game store or a department store. They probably sell them in toy stores, but toy stores are really, really loud [ and a little bit depressing to people whose little sisters and brother were killed ] and more expensive.

[doyoufondue]

[ Right. No children. ] Game store then. I'm sure there's one around.

[tenminutes]

I don't know what the American ones are called.

[doyoufondue]

I don't either...

[tenminutes]

Uhg, let's just stay here then. I don't actually care.

[doyoufondue]

You sure? I'm sorry.

[tenminutes]

I don't actually care what we do, I just wanted to come over.

[doyoufondue]

Really? Just to hang out?

[tenminutes]

Mostly. I mean-- there's something that I want to talk about that I can't really ask anyone else but it's kind of annoying and depressing so let's just hang out.

[doyoufondue]

What is it, Yuri? I'm all ears. I can handle annoying and depressing. [ he can. look at his life. ]

[tenminutes]

None of this ever, ever, EVER leaves this room! Got it?

[ Yuri looks at him, quite seriously, then goes to sit on the couch arm. ]

If I stay with Battler after saving him, he doesn't ever get to really live. He'll want to love me until it destroys him because I'm always going to be a bratty, dead teenage girl who can't grow up with him or even let herself love him completely. If I leave him after saving him, he'll be heart-broken-- and that's if he ever accepts it because I can't tell him that the reason is because I don't have feelings for him without him knowing it's a lie, so I don't even know that he'd ever give up until it destroyed him. If I get over my problems enough to actually be able to have some semblance of a real relationship with him, I can't exist anymore.

[ She pauses, looking to the side, her voice a lot more quiet. ]

Even if I manage to pull off a miracle and save his life against every version of his world that there is, I don't know how to save him from me afterward.

[doyoufondue]

Got it.

[ Like he would have told anyone anyway. He's quiet, thinking this over and takes a seat, running a hand through his hair. Hmmm. ]

So you can be with him but... you can't. [ Sounds a little familiar. Different but- ]

Does he know the real reason?

[tenminutes]

You say that like he'd ever listen if I told him. I've mentioned that I might disappear to him before, and once he just said he'd try to find a way to bring me back. If I disappear it'll be someone else's life he's destroying if he did though. I hope he probably grew out of that idea, it was a while ago when he said it, but I think that shows how much he's willing to do to keep me with him.

[doyoufondue]

Can you disappear if you're not in your world...?

[tenminutes]

If it was just because of my world, anyone happy who came to that party I held in February probably would've stopped existing. Not being in my world doesn't make me any less dead.

[doyoufondue]

Hm. ...If not existing wasn't there, would you want to be with him?

[tenminutes]

I wouldn't be asking this if I could just break up with him cleanly because I didn't want to.

[ Wow that was a roundabout yes, Yuri. ]

[doyoufondue]

If I were you... I'd want to find a way to be happy. Even if it's only for a little while. It could be worth it and better than living forever with it just out of reach and missing the chance.

[tenminutes]

I can't look at him without feeling like I'm doing something horrible anymore and a tiny part of me doesn't care.

[ Yuri looks down for a moment, then leans back against the couch hanging her head over the back and staring at the ceiling. ]

I don't want to do that to him. I don't want him to end up like me, clinging onto the only things I have left of the people I love and couldn't save.

[doyoufondue]

[ He folds his hands and sits next to her, watching her thoughtfully before looking ahead with a sigh. He's looking around like he's searching for an answer somewhere in the room but it's not coming up. ]

Me either.

[tenminutes]

[ After a short silence, Yuri sits up and tries to smile at him and joke. She doesn't feel any better, she still doesn't know what to do, but it's definitely not fair to Steve to just sit here feeling bad for herself when she was the one who wanted to come over. ]

If even you don't know, I guess that means I'm truly and royally screwed and I should just accept my crown as the queen of bad luck.

[doyoufondue]

[ Steve frowns. That didn't help. He couldn't help because he's basically doing the same thing she is. Almost. ]

SNAFU, right? You shouldn't take the crown though. Don't claim it.

[tenminutes]

[ The fuck is SNAFU. She doesn't want to make him feel old though so just-- moves on.. ] Why? [ She glances over at him, nudging him slightly with her elbow. ] Did you want it? [ Your life sucks too, Steve, she's not ignoring that. ]

[doyoufondue]

[ Yes it does. ] No, I'll pass on being the Queen.